When I was a younger man, this book and movie and general idea behind Fight Club spoke to me. Not that I wanted to join one, but more about acknowledging that these feelings exist. Guys have pent up energy and rage and emotion. Society tells us to suppress it most of this....probably for the better. There are tons of other meanings to this book and movie, but I don't want to break down Fight Club, which many have done and one could do all day. For now, I just want to point out that the idea a fight club is appealing to some people because of our leftover monkey-brains and hardware. We have the elevated ideas about life and society, etc., but we have leftover hardware from thousands of years ago and leftover parts of the brain that still say "FIGHT" or "RUN" when we get into some situations. We are still very much the monkeys on the savannah trying to not get eaten by lions and willing to do what we have to in order to survive.
On to the point.... The other day my wife told me that a bunch of kids at her school were going to be suspended for fighting. I thought there was a giant brawl at school. Not true, though. Apparently in the construction area near the school (they are digging up an building home all over there) the kids were having a kind of "fight club" of their own. No girls involved, just guys, and apparently there was a touch of racial stuff behind it, although that hasn't been confirmed or denied. Just picture that, though. A group of kids, meeting at a construction zone, and forming a somewhat organized fighting club. While it sounds stupid, it also sounds a little bad ass... admit it. Those kids have some guts. Again, please don't take any of this as me thinking this is okay or smart. Its lets talk about why this might happen. Lets get into the topic with the previous acknowledgment that, in the end, this is not a good idea mainly because these kids aren't mature enough to handle this type of thing. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
Why would middle school kids feel the need to be in a fight club? Well, think back to when you were in middle school. If you are like me, the memories are potent and strong. I remember more stuff about middle school than I do high school. Our hormones levels and emotions are running crazy at this time. All our senses are heightened. I mean that literally. The kids even smell stuff in my classroom that I don't. At this time the kids are trying to figure out who they are, what they like, what they don't, and are being judged for all those things constantly. Their feelings are raw and very strong. If you "like" someone, its not an idea or an attraction... you feel it throughout your body. If you are upset with someone, it permeates your whole system. But why a fight club?
Here's where I comment about society and coddling kids, etc., etc. Truth is, I'm not a father yet. I have a month to go on that one. I'm not sure what I am going to do in that roll, but I can't only share what I know from observation and readings I've done. Back in an earlier time, kids were actually part of the household, meaning they pulled their weight. They helped till the fields, feed the animals, bring in money from work, etc. They had purpose outside of being kid. Now we have this idea that they should be allowed to be kids. My parents are a great example of this idea that's growing and morphing. I did go out and mow lawns, shovel snow, and rake leaves for money. I had a paper route and tried to earn money where I could, but I never had to. I played sports and my parent took me to these things, and paid for the equipment, and never made me feel bad about it. I never went to crazy week-long sports camps or have private cello lessons or anything. Sometimes my birthday or Christmas gifts were the shoes or gloves I would need for an upcoming season but thats awesome. That's what I wanted and needed and I never asked for much else. I was pretty damn happy and well taken care of...but middle school was still rough. I got into some fights, did some regrettable things (lighting a piece of paper on fire in school is pretty stupid), and felt extremes for all emotions.
Despite my relative ease of home life compared to others, I still lashed out at times. But the question partly becomes, did I lash out because it was easy for me? Some kids I knew had very legitimate reasons to be upset and lash out. But think about this middle school fight club that was happening at my wife's school. How could something like that form just from kids who are upset for legitimate reasons? It seems to me that the fight club was a symptom of something else. As a society and culture we coddle kids, me included. They get everything for doing almost nothing. We don't want kids to go through any hardship if it can be helped. Everyone gets a trophy. Everyone gets to play. There's no major struggle or many kids. There is no outlet for the heightened feelings and emotions. We try to keep them happy, but the fact is, we need to feel. We need to run the gauntlet of emotions as kids to prepare for life. Keeping kids happy all the time and coddled doesn't allow for this. Look at the massive prescription drug problems in the suburbs. I don't think that kids abuse drugs in the suburbs to mask emotions. I think they do it to feel something different.
The areas surrounding my wife's middle school could be considered a strong middle class area. Kids here are mostly well adjusted and have everything they need. Not all, mind you, but most. They don't go hungry or cold. They join whatever team and club they want. There are no cuts to teams at the middle school level in our district. They all play. The hardships most of these kids face would not be considered hardships by our ancestors. So these kids have no major reasons to feel depressed, angry, upset, etc. Yes, home life can cause these emotions, but for many, they have no reason to be upset... yet....Yet, we need to feel these emotions. Our hardware has to workout how to handle the things. So, what do kids do? Some do drugs to try to feel other emotions. Some will try drinking. Some cut themselves. Some get through everything just fine, too. But, in this case, some started a fight club.
If you have never been hit in the face or beat by someone else in a fight, you're missing out. I think its important to know what that is like. You need to know, as a human, that there are people out there that can beat you up. It helps you make better decisions later on when dealing with conflict. I also think there's a part of our monkey brains and bodies that need to fight a little. Look at animals when they are younger. They "fight" as play all day long. It helps teach them skills needed to survive. Some of these instincts are left in us somewhere, suppressed.
My best friends and I used to bare-knuckle box after a few drinks. Shirts off, no shoes, outside in the grass. There were no real rules but if you tagged someone in the face we would stop. If you wanted to keep going, we would, but most the time that ended it. We knew that if we kept at it, we might actually get pissed at each other and then be fighting for real. We just wanted to get out some aggression with people we knew and trusted. It was fun. We all felt like, if the world went to shit, we could handle ourselves physically if need be. That was as semi-mature, 20 year olds. The kids in this middle school fight club are not semi or even partially mature. Thats just their age. Not their fault.
These kids started a fight club, I think to feel something different. To test themselves in a "controlled" environment. They need to get out these emotions and urges somehow. In theory, this seems like a great idea. Have kids fight a little. Have them learn to handle themselves and learn a little bit about what they are made of. Learn how to be tough in the face of adversity. Learn that you might need to get stronger and in better shape. Learn that life is tough, but you have to get back up. All of those things, in theory, are great things someone could learn fighting.... but one could also learn these things fighting in a controlled boxing class, martial arts studio, or wrestling. These kids are probably not mature enough to handle the lessons learned in a fight club. If a kid gets hit hard in the face, or pinned down and loses the fight, really, there should be no shame. It happens. You lost today to this guy. Try again tomorrow. But immaturity doesn't allow this thinking. If you are immature and get hit in the face, you become embarrassed. You start talking shit about that kid behind their back at school. You let it bleed over into your life. Whereas, with my friends, as soon as you lost, you laughed. You hugged or high-fived and had a beer. You learned a little and moved on. It was healthy, in my opinion.
This post was meant to be short, but my ideas about this topic flowed a little more than I thought. I think knowing I have a baby boy on the way has me thinking a lot more about how kids grow up. I have even more thoughts on this, but I think thats enough for now, anyways. In conclusion... I don't think the idea behind the fight club for these kids was a bad one, in theory. It could be very cathartic and healthy. But in practice, with the maturity levels, it probably had the opposite effect. It's interesting, though, to look at this as symptom of of society a a whole.
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