Most of our girls are new to basketball. There's not a lot of experience with the game. I decided that its important for me to teach them, what I consider to be, real basketball and not just a series of plays and actions that get points or results. In my opinion, basketball is about flow. There's a pace and flow to the game with lots of little things that happen within that flow. Basketball is about learning the fundamentals well and then applying them creatively within the game. I am trying to teach this to 7th grade girls. Not easy.
I won't go into all the details of the loss, but were close at half and then lost momentum, they applied pressure, and we folded up.
What was most upsetting to me was how they took it. I'm not mad at the girls. I remember being their age, but I had at least 6 girls crying, some faking injuries, and then I heard them in the locker room throwing a complete bitch-fest about the other team and the refs, etc. We did not handle the loss well.
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| Maybe its mean, but this classic scene came to mind |
Leading up to the game, the girls were all nervous and talking about how good the other team was and how tough they are and who to worry about, etc. There was so much talk about them and what they do, and none of us and what we can do. They had it in their heads they would lose, then when it started to happen, they saw it as destiny, got upset, and completely forgot how to play. They didn't fill their spots on defense, they didn't help out the ball on offense....they just forgot how to play. And that's the important word, isn't it: Play.
As the coach, I am left wondering how much of the loss is on me, naturally. I know we didn't go over press breakers or how to press. That's on me. I wasn't sure we would need it. Apparently we did. I also need to find a way to get them to move on offense. We stand around hoping something will happen, despite all our work on screens and cuts. But, really, I am wondering how to fix the attitude toward the loss. This s a far more important lesson in the long run. It is not lost on me at all how impressionable these kids are right now. My reaction at practice today needs to be calculated and thought out.
Losing happens to even the best of us. We don't have to like it. We don't have to take it lying down. But, once its over, its over, and we need to move on. Use what was learned from the loss and apply it to the next round. The way my girls seemed to handle it, though, is that losing was something that happened TO them, externally. It was a series of things, to them, that they weren't in control of. That's what really had me stewing last night. How can I switch that mindset in a positive way. That winning, too, comes from within. Winning doesn't happen TO you. Same with losing.
Again, I'm not mad at them. They may not know better or have been taught any different. Our 7th graders at school are particularly entitled as a community. We are not in a rich area or anything, its just an attitude. Examples are unnecessary as I am sure you can picture it. What I need to do now, is mold the girls differently. It can't just be about basketball anymore.
When I coach cross country, I coach way more than cross country. I coach lifestyle, attitude, grit, determination, health, etc. I don't have the time with these girls to do all that. I only have 6 weeks form start to finish. But, I can try to change the mindset. Losing is part of the game. Its an important part of the game. We, as a society, seem to admire those that win all the time. We use their quotes and posters to motivate ourselves. But lets take a step back. Is that what is really important? Do we want to win so bad that we are willing to be assholes in the process? Think of all the examples you think of, right of the bat, when you think of winning.... How many of them are really good people? Some, sure. But they are probably not a majority. Hell... I love Michael Jordan... love him... but he was kindof a dick.
To make this clear, I am not into the whole "trophies for everyone" scene. I dont want to just tell them its ok and that they are all winners in my book. We need winners and losers. But we need to be able to handle losing. Losing doesn't happen TO us from some external force, though. Its something you feel and know because in that game or that activity or that experience, you weren't good enough. Plain and simple. Its in figuring out why we weren't good enough, at that time, that allows us to grow and get better. By putting blame elsewhere, we deny our ability to learn, grow, and become better than we once were.
This is a lot to try to teach 7th grade girls in the month I have left... but I will try. I will try through action and word. Because I lost yesterday too and see what I did to prepare the girls wasn't good enough and would like to fix those things for the better. The girls are just beginning to figure all this out. I know that and I am going to do my best to nurture these ideas instead of yelling, or drilling actions to death, or being negative about it. Meanwhile.... I still want to win.
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